Glee, Season 6 Episode 8
by Maggie Kaprielian
I never understood why my ability
to carry love in my heart for another
woman made me intolerable.
But what I can understand is the
ignominy seeping into my skin whenever
someone alludes to homosexuality being vile.
I understand the devastation of
pure loathing from a hypocritical crowd
that raised me on the notion of “being myself.”
I understand that coming out is never truly over
in a universe where straight is the human default.
It’s perpetual. It’s being sixteen and proud of your
courage to tell your family, only to realize the majority
of people you are bound to meet throughout your walk
in life will habitually assume you only like men.
I understand how a decade of my life passed by before gay marriage was legalized.
I recall watching Glee and my soul pining when Santana and Brittany had to push
their wedding out of state borders, because at the time, Ohio prohibited their marriage.
It’s as if their earnest love for each other wasn’t actually love
in the willingly-ignorant eyes of hatred.
I understand it all,
and deeply yearn I didn’t have to.
Often, I fathom a reality where everything is different;
One where queer people are seen as people.
Where Santana and Brittany never faced prejudice to begin with.
Where I don’t have to actively seek for representation
in the media, just to feel less out of place in life.
In this reality, I can tell people I’m bisexual the way I tell people my name.
But I understand that’s not always true.
There are a lot of things I cannot control.
The list is colossal.
But what I can control is not letting myself
dissolve into a reality where I fabricate my identity.
I’ll stop bargaining authentication for the majority’s comfort.
I’ll celebrate queer joy and solidarity.
I’ll give speeches at my gay friends’ weddings,
as I remember how it’s our community’s persistent love
that pushes through storms everyday.
It’s the bravery we have to admit to ourselves who we are, and to keep on
existing as we are, no matter how gargantuan the presence of opposition is.
So I sit here in solace,
knowing if Santana and Brittany were real,
they’d be living happily together at this very moment;
Just like the millions of queer people
who’ve learned to grow love from darkness.
Maggie Kaprielian (she/her) is a seventeen year old from Maryland. She is an editor in chief for the Erewhon Literary Arts Magazine and president of Potomac’s chapter of the Maryland Teen Writers Association. She attended Susquehanna University's Summer Poetry Workshops in 2021 and 2022.